b/a/l/l/e/n

Writer, director, producer and screenplay consultant. Currently writing a horror screenplay shooting end of '13 and headline contributor for the Onion. This is a place where I post random stuff and things I will regret later.

Aug 1

At the hop it’s greaseball heaven and candy pants.


Jul 31

Trailer for the new movie by the producers of my horror movie.

I have no idea what they’re saying, but I want to see it!


Jul 30

Jul 25
So I ran up the street to hit an ATM and get lunch, only to find a giant “Free Palestine” rally moving along Kurfurstendamm, one of the largest retail avenues in Berlin. I was about to pass out from not eating, but the air was so tense I was afraid I’d miss something. FOMO on something awful. And sure enough, the guy right next to me took out an Israeli flag and held it defiantly, which prompted a Palestinian supporter to start shouting that he’s a baby murderer. The guy shouting was soon joined by fifty other men shouting alongside him while the Polizei (the German police) forced the man with the flag around the corner and out of sight.  

Suddenly I saw lines of Polizei in full riot gear running and followed them up the street. There was a whole corner along the march route filled with Israeli flags – and Israeli counter-demonstrators. They were mostly milling around and singing peace songs, but their presence was provocative, and it felt like everything was going to turn violent. It was one of those rare moments where a riot happening would be about the least surprising thing that could happen just then.

Soon the march continued, but with slightly less tension. More and more people on the sides of the avenues had tiny Israeli flags, but these didn’t seem to bother anyone. This is one of those flags.

So I ran up the street to hit an ATM and get lunch, only to find a giant “Free Palestine” rally moving along Kurfurstendamm, one of the largest retail avenues in Berlin. I was about to pass out from not eating, but the air was so tense I was afraid I’d miss something. FOMO on something awful. And sure enough, the guy right next to me took out an Israeli flag and held it defiantly, which prompted a Palestinian supporter to start shouting that he’s a baby murderer. The guy shouting was soon joined by fifty other men shouting alongside him while the Polizei (the German police) forced the man with the flag around the corner and out of sight.  

Suddenly I saw lines of Polizei in full riot gear running and followed them up the street. There was a whole corner along the march route filled with Israeli flags – and Israeli counter-demonstrators. They were mostly milling around and singing peace songs, but their presence was provocative, and it felt like everything was going to turn violent. It was one of those rare moments where a riot happening would be about the least surprising thing that could happen just then.

Soon the march continued, but with slightly less tension. More and more people on the sides of the avenues had tiny Israeli flags, but these didn’t seem to bother anyone. This is one of those flags.


Jul 24

I wouldn’t read this piece of shit book, but I will DEFINITELY see this piece of shit movie. 


Jul 21

Amazing.


“Hamas builds reinforced bunkers for its leaders (under hospitals and other must-avoid targets) but purposefully neglects to build bomb shelters for the civilians in its putative care.” The Atlantic

“If we commit to one social plan for the whole evening, we might be missing out on something cooler happening just around the corner. So the mediated-spontaneity tools of the smartphone comfort us with the idea that it is always possible to bail out in favour of something better. And this is pleasant, too, for the hipster entrepreneurs who have just launched the nearby pop-up absinthe bar or dude-food smokehouse. As Jacob Burak reports in a recent essay, the fear of missing out “occurs mostly in people with unfulfilled psychological needs in realms such as love, respect, autonomy and security.” Too overwhelming a fear of missing out—a generalised attitude of always looking over the shoulder of the person you’re talking to in case there is someone more interesting or attractive at the party—can rob the victim of the ability to take pleasure in anything.” Steven Poole, on FOMO

Jul 17
The real-life Rosie The Riveter.

The real-life Rosie The Riveter.


Jul 16

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